Am I the only one who’s overwhelmed with Nanowrimo? I don’t know anyone in my home town doing it, I feel completely alone sitting in front of my computer doing this… and why!? Why should I put myself through this?
I suffer from anxiety. It’s a diagnosed thing, not just me saying stuff. Why I would do this is insane.
Anyway. I just added the Nanowrimo calendar to my Google calendar so I can watch with wide eyes what goes on in the fantasy world of Nanowrimo when you can double your word count (what the hell does that mean???!), or when you can listen to the founder give a speech on Youtube… or other weird activities that occur somewhere in the universe of which I feel no part of.
Okay. Enough with the panic attack.
Just found a calendar for Montreal with write-ins and stuff. Might go. Now I’m shy about meeting the people doing Nanowrimo. What the hell do I want???
I’m doing it. I’m insane, but I’m doing it.
It’ll be a whole new project, as recommended by the people at Nanowrimo. I’m sure some participants will work on ongoing projects, use Nano as motivation to finish something or just plain load their previous 50,000-word stories on there. I’ll do it as suggested: started a new project on my Scrivener, version Nanowrimo 2014, and outlined it a bit.
I’m gonna stay with what I’ve done so far: gay romance. I’ve got an idea, it’s a bit of a heart breaker, but I’ll try to do it justice.
My inspiration right now is Josh Lanyon. I’m naming a character after him. I love him sooooooooooo…. well his writing anyway (I’ve never personally met Mr. Lanyon and do not wish for this to be interpreted as web stalking or anything…).
And I have two buddies! You can invite other participants to become your buddy and they invited me back to be their buddy! We’ll support the shit out of each other.
Drawback: nothing is happening in Montreal – this chapter sucks (apparently we’re more than 3,000 Montrealers signed up!). No activities planned, no coffee house hosting a gathering, no friends… It’ll be lonely but what the hell. I’ve got my family behind me.
It’s agonizing. I dream of my story, it’s like a movie. I can see it (they’re pretty hot, too: Tom looks like an auburn John Schneider and Dylan is a mix between Joe Manganiello for the size, stature and hair with Channing Tatum’s eyes if they were amber, you know, piercing but warm when he laughs…) happening as it unfolds in my dreams.
I don’t know if it’s a normal writing process – I doubt it, I haven’t read of anyone experiencing this yet – but the dream becomes so vivid it wakes me up too early, stressing that I need to write it but once I’m up, I freeze and I put it off until later. Preferably another day.
I now dread going to sleep, knowing I’ll be tortured by my story tomorrow morning at some ungodly hour.